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If Dad asks and child complies, that's a gift

THEN AGAIN
By Marybeth Hicks
June 17, 2007

The children started two weeks ago asking for suggestions for gifts for Dad. The Father's Day marketing hype had begun in earnest with newspaper inserts covered with photos of male models wearing madras shorts.
    "Whatever you do, don't get him any madras shorts," I said. "He won't wear them." My husband is a lot of things, but he's not the madras type.
    I noticed as we contemplated the various gift ideas promoted in the circulars that there may be a kind of "gift gap" between mothers and fathers, similar to the notorious "income gap" between men and women.
    I'm not looking for a fight here, but am I the only one who observes that Mother's Day gifts typically are flowers, candy, slippers and picture frames made of Popsicle sticks, while Father's Day gifts are things like full sets of golf clubs, hiking watches, hammocks and -- for the dad who has everything -- a buttery leather "man purse" (necessary to carry a Swiss army knife, an electric travel shaver and a portable humidor)?
    Um ... why are there no Popsicle-stick humidors? Oh well.
    Back to the dilemma at hand: What to get Dad for Father's Day. I wanted my children to honor their father appropriately, and I certainly was willing to help them with a gift idea and even the money to finance it, but the truth is, I have a dismal gift-giving track record with this man.
    For 20 years, I've gone through the same mental gymnastics they face trying to come up with a gift that will surprise and delight my husband.
    A new CD? Several still-new and unopened discs sit in the bottom drawer of our entertainment closet. Those would be my attempts to predict Jim's musical interests. (I learned too late, for example, that compilations of Dave Brubeck's music aren't necessarily performed by Dave and his combo and that a musical purist such as my husband would want only the original recordings. Oops.)
    Or how about something related to a hobby? My husband loves beer -- not that I would elevate his consumption to a level that should warrant concern, but he's an aficionado of sorts. I figured he could make it a hobby by brewing his own beer in our kitchen, so I went to our local beer boutique and purchased all the equipment needed to turn our home into a microbrewery.
    Know anyone who wants a beer-making kit? I have one to sell -- cheap.
    Turns out Jim enjoys drinking beer, but he'd rather just grab a cold one from the fridge than stand in a hot, yeasty kitchen cooking up his own hops and barley. Can't say I blame him.
    The children wanted to know if he would like an IPod or maybe a new game for the PlayStation 2 or perhaps an electric scooter. This seems like an odd coincidence. Apparently, they were thinking Father's Day would be a way to get some new stuff around the house for them.

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